We Soldier On
by itsthetruth
Summary: sequel to STTL "She never existed Gwen."  "But she was still part of us, we all remember her. We ran and ducked and dived from the whole world for months, it still happened. How am I meant to forget all that?"  "We soldier on." G/J T/O M/I 11/R
1. Unexpected Surprises

**Hey guys, so this is my fourth installment of this storyline! I cant believe how succesful it was! I was expecting nobody to read it! This one is gonna be brilliant! So enjoy! Also if your following my twitter (truewhovian) please say in your review who you are on twitter! :D #truewhovian**

...

If someone had told me 2 years ago where I'd be today, I would think they were fucked in the head. But here we were, sitting in the hub, 2 days after Owen and Tosh's wedding. The Doctor and River had offered to stay behind and help us, as they were away in Greece the lucky bastards, with Matt and Lexi who kept the twins occupied.

"DAAAAAAAAAAD!" Matt shouted to The Doctor, who was in the autopsy bay.

"What?" He shouted back.

"Sexy's starting to drift into the middle ages!"

"ONLY I CALL HER SEXY!"

"BOYS!" River emerged from the toilets, sitting next to me on the sofa. "You both leave the breaks on, no wonder she starting to drift!" She tutted. "Matt sweetie, go sort her out... PROPERLY!" She grinned.

"Its still weird getting used to you two with Matt, we never saw him grow up!"

"That's time travel for you."

The cog door span open and Matt ran out, nearly knocking over Martha and Ianto walking in with the twins.

"Morning Matt." Martha chuckled, as they put the boys down to toddle around, sitting next to Me and River. "Well, here we are again." She said, River clapping her hands together before wiggling her finger at us to lean forward. "How about a sneaky suprise trip? The boys will be ok looking after the rift."

We both nodded and quickly grabbed our coats and bags, sneaking up to the door, waiting for it to open when Jack and Ianto emerged from the office and The Doctor the autopsy bay.

He cleared his voice before raising a eyebrow at us. "And where do you think your going?"

The cog door whirled open straight away and we ran out giggling. "Erm, checking the tourist centre?"

"YOUR NOT TAKING THE TARDIS RIVER!" He shouted to her. "STAY ON EARTH! For christ sake..."

We made our way upstairs and into The TARDIS.

"So, The Doctor is being all grumpy so I thought we could go suprise my parents, bring them up here for today, maybe we could all have dinner later?"

"Sounds like a plan." Martha grinned as we sat down, River running round flicking switches and eventually landing.

"I'll go get them." I said, bounding out of The TARDIS.

I walked up the garden path and knocked on The Pond's door. The door slowly creeked open to Rory, sticking his head out.

"AMY QUICK!" He hissed pulling her out the door, and grabbing my arm and into The TARDIS.

"Whats going on?" I asked them.

"I'm gonna kill The Doctor!"

...

We walked back into the hub, the cog door opening to find everyone either at their desks or on the sofa.

"DOCTORRRRRRRR!" Amy shouted.

"Ponds?" The Doctor asked, jumping up and looking round the corner at us, Amy steaming ahead. "How lovely to see you!"

"Doctor! Lexi's bloody care workers have been banging on our door because she has 'dissapeared.' I swear to god, you better sort this out, they think we've kidnapped her! I cant exactly say she's my grandson's girlfriend can I?"

"Hey Doc." Rory mumered from behind him, slumping down on the sofa.

"Alright Gramps?" Matt called, running over and sitting next to Rory.

"Hey mate." He grinned.

"DOCTOR!" Amy said, waving her arms around.

"I'll sort it dont worry!" I said, entering things into my computer. "Done. Hacked into social services and sorted it out, said she had been adopted by some couple, moved abroad so the british government wont have to deal with her."

"See, this is what I like about this place!" Amy said, sitting the other side of Matt, putting her arm round him. "They do things quickly! Now..." She said, grinning at Matt. "How's my favourite grandson?"

"Fine." He laughed. "Oi Yan, stick the radio on!" He said to Ianto, and he walked over to the radio, flicking through the channels.

**Im not running anymore**

**Coz now theres nothing left to hold me down**

**Some things are worth fighting for**

**I see it all**

**Its waiting for me now**

My heart could have broken there and then. It shouldnt upset me because she never existed, but it does. I couldnt bear hearing it, it reminded me of her so much. Jack looked at me, I knew what he was feeling too.

"Going for a walk." I murmered, walking out the hub and through the cog door.

After a couple of minutes I found myself sitting on the beach, looking over the sea.

"Are you ok Gwen?" I looked to my side to see Lexi sitting next to me.

"Fine." I mumbled. "Lexi?"

"Yeah."

"Did you know much about your parents?"

"Not really. I know nothing about my Dad, when I was born, they were mostly on other sides of the world, and I was with my Mum. I dont even know their names. All I was ever told was they always protected me."

"Do you remember them?"

"No. I was taken into care when I was only about 7, 8 months old maybe. I was found, on the side of a motorway one day. I was taken into care, and then a few months back, the care home I had lived in since a baby, burnt down, luckily we were all out on a day trip to Butlins, and they found the house in Leadworth and set up our new home there. That's when I met Matt. He was visiting Amy and Rory one day with The Doctor and River."

"Do you ever wonder what happened to them?"

"Oh they're fine, I know that, its not finding them, its what to say to them thats the problem." She sighed. "Its all oh hi how's your life been? I'm your daughter, bet you've had great fun without me as a burden!" She said, quickly clenching her fists.

"Hey, it's ok." I said, reaching out and holding her hands, trying to calm her down. "I know what its like, someone leaving you and you think its because your being a burden to them. Believe me, I've been there." I smiled at her. "Come on, lets go back to the hub."

...

I slipped into the toilets and pulled out from under my sleeve what I had been hiding. People would think it was too soon but believe me, I didnt exactly plan it. It had been a year since the world forgot and, well. I slid out the pregnancy test and used it, drying it off and slipping it back into my sleeve and into the hub, not looking at the result. I walked out the door and Lexi came running past me, accidently pushing me to the floor.

"Shit!" She jumped down, helping me up. "You ok? Oh you dropped something."

The pregnancy test was on the floor, face down unable to see the result still. She froze, looking down at it. I quickly grabbed it and stuffed it back in my sleeve, looking at her.

"No." She whispered. She gulped, turning and running off, through the cog door, not looking back.

...

_Alexabelle, belle belle, your true loves mother is River, belle belle, Alexabelle, your family are all killers._

_..._

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	2. Central Perk Point Delta 2

Shit. Mega mega mega mega shit. No, surely she wouldnt say anything. the cog door rolled open and Martha walked through, with a look of concern on her face.

"Come on then, tell me."

"Dont know what your going on about."

"Your pregnant aren't you?"

"How did you-"

"Gwen, I'm your bestfriend, I can tell. And Lexi came running out upset, let me guess, she saw it and got upset thinking another baby, her place in The TARDIS was meant for Rivaella, so she thinks she will be kicked off The TARDIS and replaced with the new baby. But were you guys planning on having anoth-"

"Oh god no!" I interupted, shaking my head. "I dont even know if we could cope having another, after everything that happened with her."

"Well are you?"

"Havent looked yet." I said, lifting up my sleeve.

"Have you spoken to Jack about it?"

"No." I sighed. "I dont know if I'm ready for this Martha. It has only been a year since we lost Rivaella."

She pulled me into a hug, and squeezed me tight. What was I gonna do?

"Go and talk to Jack."

"Ok." I sighed, pulling out and looking at her. "Do you know where he is?" I looked round the hub to see it was empty. "Where is everyone anyway?"

"Oh, were all in The TARDIS, Doctor said something about planet of the coffee shops? Ianto isnt too happy about that." She giggled.

We walked through the hub to the cog door, the pregnancy test falling out of my sleeve and onto the floor...

...

We made our way out of The TARDIS, onto a brand new planet. Everyone made their way out causually, they did it everyday, apart from Me and Ianto, who were staring in awe.

"We- were." I gulped. "Were on another planet!" I murmered, taking it all in.

"I know, isnt it brilliant!" Jack said, grinning at me, putting his arm over my shoulder.

"But. I mean, its another planet! I can see why you loved travelling in The TARDIS." I squealed.

"Come on." He said, grabbing my hand and dragging us into a coffee shop, the others following.

"Ah this is more like it!" The Doctor said smiling. "The exact replica of the coffee shop from FRIENDS!"

"Central Perk point delta 2!" Matt grinned, taking Lexi's hand and walking over to a seat.

"So that's what the kids call it these days..." Rory laughed, and we all followed them, sitting down.

"So!" Jack said. "I'll get in the drinks, what do you all want?"

"Coffee."

"Coffee."

"Coffee."

"Coffee."

"Coffee."

"Guess I'll have a coffee." Ianto grumbled.

"We'll have a coke each." Lexi said, pointing between her and Matt.

"Gwen?" Jack asked me.

"Erm, I'll just have some orange juice."

Everyone looked at me, Jack raising a eyebrow. Lexi shot me a sharp look and Martha a concerned one.

"I'm feeling a bit bloated, coffee wont help."

"Ok." He grinned, kissing me on the cheek and walking up to the counter.

"Just going to the loo." I murmered, jumping up. I walked into the toilets, hopping up onto the side, sighing to myself. As expected, Lexi soon walked in after me. She leant against the wall and just looked at me. "Look Lex..." I started, looking up at her. "I know you might think that if I'm pregnant, that baby will replace you in The TARDIS but it wont I-"

"Shutup you whore." She spat.

"Sorry?"

"SHUTUP!" She screamed at me, kicking the fake cupboards under the sink, inches from hitting my feet. I jumped down and moved over to the other side of the bathroom. "I cant believe you!"

"Lexi, what's wrong?" I spluttered, her face full of anger. "I dont understand? You'll keep your place in The TARDIS! Please Lexi calm down!"

Tears started pouring down her face, she started clenching her fists lightly, walking towards me, I slammed against the wall, caught in a corner, she didnt look like she was gonna hurt me, she was trying to make me listen, but not telling me what.

"Everything ok?" Martha's head popped round the corner, thank god.

"Fine." I managed to spit out. "Lexi's just a bit upset, thats all." I said, quickly pulling her into a hug. "Wont be long, dont mention anything about it to them lot." She smiled, nodded and dissapeared again. After a couple of seconds, I let go, not pushing her but not keeping her close either. I said nothing to her, walked back to ours seats, smiling and taking my drink from Jack and after a few minutes Lexi walked back in, acting like nothing had happened.

...

The Doctor and River had dropped Me and Jack back at the hub, we had been living there again the last year, we still had the house, but we didnt want to go back. They had gone to get the twins from Rhiannon's then drop Martha and Ianto home, then come back here and park The TARDIS upstairs as The Pond's had decided to stay with us for a few days.

I snuggled my head into Jack's chest, as we lay in bed.

"Was everything ok earlier? In the toilets, Lexi seemed upset."

"Hmm." I murmered, not really listening. "Just been a bit of a day."

...

**Belle Belle, Alexabelle, they had you and they lost you, Belle Belle, Alexabelle they watched over and cooed to you.**

...

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	3. Truth Truth Hurts, Lies Worse

I was feeling so shit it was unreal.

The Pond's, The Doctor and Matt and Lexi were all still in The TARDIS whilst Me, Jack, Martha and Ianto were in the hub. Martha was sitting at her desk with Jack, Ianto was sweeping and I was laying on the sofa.

"Fucking hell I feel crap." I complained.

"Stop moaning!" Jack smirked at me, as I stuck my tounge out at him. "Not that bad are you then? What's wrong with you again?"

"Feel really sicky and bleurgh." I replied, Martha shooting me a eye wide shot from behind Jack. "I'll be ok though." I replied quickly.

I had lost the pregnancy test. It had fell out of my sleeve and onto the floor, but I didnt know where it went. I had never thought of getting another one, I guess I just thought it would be one of those things that you can just forget about, and it'll go away. But if I was, it wouldnt be going anywhere quickly would it? I needed to find out, quickly.

I still hadn't spoken to Lexi about what had happened, and I didnt exactly want to, but I knew I had to. Jack smiled at me and walked off somewhere, while I walked to my desk.

_Instant messaging_

_Doctor Martha Jones: I'll get them all to go out somewhere, and I will find out once and for all if you are or not. xx_

_Gwen Harkness: Ok xx_

"Erm, Yan, Jack?" Martha called out.

"Yeah?" Jack called back.

"Can you two go ask The Doctor if he has any of those patches from when we were at new earth? He'll know what I mean."

They both came walking out into the hub again. "Does it need two of us?" Jack laughed.

"I need to go upstairs anyway, nobody's on the desk." Ianto said, quickly kissing Martha and walking out the door and heading upstairs, Jack following.

We raced to our feet and into the autopsy bay, as I jumped onto the table, lifting up my top while Martha set up the equipment.

"What if I am Martha? Shit shit shit!" I bit my lip, freaking out. "Oh my god, how can this even be happening?"

"Gwen, working for Torchwood, the pill aint gonna work, radiation and being in The TARDIS and everything. Swear to god once this is all over and sorted and Owen is back, we are gonna develop a new, stronger contraceptive pill, it will save us so much hassle." She squirted the gel onto my stoumach and began the scan. The lights started to flicker and the screen starting going fuzzy. "NO NO NO!" Martha grumbled.

"HEY GUYS!"

"Shit." We both said.

"There's been a power cut and oh-"

Matt was frozen to the spot, the torchlight on us, the scan stick on my stoumach, we were frozen, looking at each other.

"Matt what's wrong? Oh here you-" Everyone else came up behind him, everyone still, looking at me.

"Well this is officially awkward..." The Doctor mumbled.

...

"HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT TELL ME YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE PREGNANT!"

"I DIDNT EVEN KNOW MYSELF, I TOOK A TEST THEN ITS ALL 'OOH PLANET OF THE COFFEE SHOPS' AND THE TEST FELL OUT OF MY SLEEVE, SO MARTHA SAID SHE WOULD DO THE SCAN! WHEN WAS I SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU?"

"SO MARTHA KNEW BEFORE ME?"

"SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND, SHE WAS THERE FOR ME WHEN YOU WAS SWANNING OFF EVERYWHERE!"

"WE WERE RUNNING FROM THE WHOLE WORLD GWEN! SORRY IF I WAS TRYING TO STOP US BEING KILLED!"

"I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT AND YOU KNOW IT."

Jack was pacing quickly up and down his office, whilst I sat on his desk, watching him, tears streaming down my face, my throat hoarse from the shouting, whilst the others sat awkwardly in the hub. He stopped and took my hands.

"Do you think you are?"

"I dont know, everytime I get near to finding out, something gets in the way."

He kissed me lightly, as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Jack. Do you think its too soon?"

"She never existed Gwen."

"But she was still part of us, we all remember her. We ran and ducked and dived from the whole world for months, it still happened. How am I meant to forget all that?"

"We soldier on."

"Keep doing what we do." I finished. "But if its another baby, what if-"

"She wont come back."

"How can you be sure of that though?"

"I cant." He sighed, brushing my cheek. "But I- we, will do everything to make sure it doesnt happen."

"Guess we better find out then..." He grabbed my hand and we walked to the autopsy bay, where Martha and everyone was ready and had the results.

"You ready?"

We nodded, Jack squeezing my hand as I sat on the table.

"Well... Gwen. Your pregnant."

My whole world came crashing down around me. I wasnt happy, but wasnt upset. I didnt feel like I did when I found out I was pregnant with Rivaella, but it was similar.

"I'm not ready for this." I blurted out. Shit, did I just say that out loud? I wasnt even aware I was saying it, let alone thinking it. Lexi got up and walked out, as I watched her every move. She knew something, I could tell, she was such a sweet girl, her reason for being upset about the baby was out of pure vain, and that wasnt her. I bounded up and chased after her, as she approached the cog door, everyone following me behind.

"LEXI!" I shouted, she turned and looked at me, bashing on the door for it to hurry. "DONT TRY AND RUN!"

Matt tried to run forward to me, being pulled back by River. "LEAVE HER ALONE GWEN!" He shouted to me.

I turned back round to him, stroking his hair. "Oh Matty I'm sorry." I said before turning back round to her. "Lexi, I'm not gonna hurt you, but I think we both know now, your hiding more than you actually know, your not spitefull, I know that. Now please, you know something. I can help."

"YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHATSOEVER!" She screamed at me. "I WAS LEFT ON MY OWN, MY PARENTS HAVE NO CLUE THAT I'M AROUND!"

"Yes I know!" I said, starting to cry. "And I'm sorry about that, but please tell me what's going on."

"The Risen." She said. So now we were gonna finally find out what this 'Risen' was. "Rise means rose." My heart started to speed up. "Rose, flowers. They rise from the ground to show their beauty, and look better than any other flower, but if anybody tries to stop their happiness, tries to pick them, they have thorns. Rose's may look amazing and beautiful, but inside they are twisted and warped." She sighed looking at us all. "It may look like I'm trying to hurt you all, but once this is all over with, you'll understand why I had to do this. Toshiko and Owen will already be there, they've been warned. I'm so sorry."

A bright light flashed and we appeared in a massive room, like a warehouse. On the walls in blood it read: TORCHWOOD 4. But it was lost?

"Tosh! Owen!" They ran over to me, pulling them into hugs.

"CANT EVEN ENJOY MY BLOODY HONEYMOON!" Owen shouted.

I span back round to the others, looking at The Doctor and River, Matt holding Lexi as she sobbed into his shoulder. "When this is over, you go, properly. Not like last time, you take them and you get out of here, never come back ok?"

"Oh Torchwood, this is gonna be our greatest battle yet."

I span round and saw her, Rose. I was bloody fed up of seeing her to be honest. "What the fuck do you want now?" I spat at her.

Before she could reply, Lexi stepped forward, looking her in the eye.

"Well Rose." She said bravely. "It's been a while hasn't it?"

"You could say that."

"Lexi!" Matt shouted, being kept back by The Doctor. "What are you doing?"

"It's ok sweetie, it'll be all over soon." She looked back at Rose. "What is it now?" She growled at her

"Time to tell."

"No." She spat out at her. "There have been... changes. I dont have to reveal it now."

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" We all shouted, I ran over to Jack, squeezing my hand.

"Oh Gwenny, Gwenny, Gwenny! Little Alexabelle has been hiding a secret from you all, something that will change each and everyone one of your lives." Rose smirked at us. "When she thought you were pregnant, she didnt get upset about it incase she lost her place in The TARDIS!"

"It doesnt matter about the baby!" I shouted at her.

"Oh yes it does, because your not really pregnant."

"Sorry what?" I spat out.

"I just planted a false image, I needed her to think you were pregnant so she would finish of the plan."

"And what is this 'plan'?" Jack asked.

"Oh of course Jack, this'll break you heart just as much as Gwen's! There's a little rhyme about this, a puzzle, riddle if you will."

"I swear to god Rose, if this is just some stupid piss take-"

"Alexabelle, Belle Belle, your true loves mother is River, Belle Belle, Alexabelle, your family are all killers, Belle Belle, Alexabelle, they had you and they lost you, Belle Belle, Alexabelle they watched over and cooed to you..."

"Yeah she was abandoned by her family bu-"

"Belle Belle Alexabelle, your ending, the risen comes nearer, belle belle Alexabelle, your eyes are getting tearier..." She smirked. Lexi took a step backwards, shaking. "Belle Belle, Alexabelle, Gwen will now see it clearer, Belle Belle, Alexabelle, its now time that you tell her."

She leant forward slightly to Lexi, grinning evilly at her.

"Belle Belle, Alexabelle, you are really Rivaella."

...

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	4. Battle Wounds

My head was all over the place.

"FUCKING TWISTED BITCH!" I screamed at her lunging forward. She grabbed Lexi and strangled her arm around her neck, pulling out a gun and placing it to her head. "Dont you dare hurt her, you love The Doctor yeah? That's his daughter in law, which would hurt Matt so it would hurt him too." I started crying. "Please, dont. My baby died a long time ago, twice. And you would know because you caused it, YOU SNIDE EVIL WHORE!" I screamed again, being pulled back by Jack.

"Lexi she is a very ill and delusional woman." Matt said, being let go by River.

Lexi started crying, looking down at the floor.

"Hey it'll be ok! I promise." I said to her.

"It's all my fault."

"Its not." Jack said, squeezing my shoulder.

"Oh but it is." She looked up at Me and Jack, eyes full of tears. "I done some fucked up stuff for her."

"Its ok." I said. "Whatever's happened, we can sort it."

"I'm sorry she told you... I wanted to tell you myself."

"Sweetheart, she's brainwashing you, Rivaella was wiped from existence, she's just doing that to get back at us for everything that happened."

"I wasn't upset about that baby because it would replace me, I was upset because I thought you hadn't cared about me, given up on me so soon. I was found in a ditch by Canary Wharf, you thought I was dead, but she had me all along, you sent Dad off with me from Canary Wharf when they tried to execute me, live on telly, using his vortex minipulator and you went to jail to save me. Then you escaped and came back to me at the house with Daddy, he bought it for us all when I was born, and then we ran, oh we ran Mum so fast across the world, and then we lived on the beach, all of us but not Dad, he thought we were all dead, but we brought him through, brought him back through the galaxies, and we made the world forget. But then I was being forgotten, I was starting to fade away. I wasnt going to exist. You told me that all of you would always love me, and you put this round my neck..." She pulled out a silver chain from under her top, it was a exact replica of the one Martha and Ianto had bought for her, _Rivaella _engraved one side and _Torchwood _the other. "... and it hasn't come off since."

Rose threw her to the floor, pointing the gun at me, I just stared at her, unable to react.

"I brain washed her, just the opportunity I needed, and now she has been made to do..."

"Made to do what?" Jack snapped at her.

"She's being made to kill Gwen."

I beg your pardon?

"And what if she doesnt?"

"Then I kill Gwen. Thought it would be nice for her to say goodbye to her mother before she kills her, and then she'll be sent off to Stormcage, she could have River's cell couldnt she? Keep it in the family."

"You want me dead? That's a shame." I said, walking forward. "Bring it on then! Come on Rose, shoot me!" She stood frozen, looking at me.

"Except you cant can you?" River laughed slightly, standing next to me. "The Atraxi prison ship is in orbit isnt it? And The Judoon have already landed, and their looking for you. That story I told you Gwen, The Risen stole a child."

"Apart from I didnt steal her. I made base back in Leadworth and she appeared, I befriended her."

"She pretended to be a fucking social worker." She snapped. "I was 11."

"She showed me the locket and I immediatley recognized it, she let me read the letter's and then I knew, it was the icing on the cake." She laughed manically. "I have no idea how she got there though, she should have been wiped from existence like you said, I didnt do that part, guess it was fate on my side."

"Come on, were going." I grabbed Jack's arm and tried to turn.

"Oh Gwen, you must know how the story ends? You've read it." Rose spat at me.

"Something died in that lost room..." I quoted looking at the 'Torchwood 4' written in blood. "And always will. But I tell you something Rose." I said bitterly. "It aint gonna be me."

A light flashed behind her and I saw someone I thought I would never see again.

"Rhys." I managed to whisper.

"Gwen." He said, not evilly more like guilty. He walked next to Rose, his eyes with slight tears, looking at me. "I cant believe what's happened."

"Well you didnt exactly help did you?" I spat at him.

"I'm sorry. I never agreed to _this_." He said, glaring at Rose. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"Oh, so raping her, beating her up, nearly slitting her throat and drowning her wasnt enough was it?" Jack barked at him.

"I'm sorry, I really am."

"I forgive you." I said, plainly, not to Jack's glee.

"GWEN!" He shouted at me. "HOW COULD YOU?"

"We have to move on from all of this Jack."

"YOU BASTARD, TRYING TO TAKE HER FROM ME ARE YOU?" Jack shouted at him.

"POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK MUCH! WAS SHE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU JACK? GUESS THATS WHY YOU SHAGGED ROSE THEN!"

My heart crashed into a million and one pieces.

"What?" I whispered, not being able to move.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry." Rhys, mumbled.

"Jack?" I looked to my side, him looking at me. "Is it true?"

"Gwen, plea-"

"IS IT TRUE?"

He stared blankly at me, not saying anything.

"When?"

"When she first came through, in the vaults."

"WHEN I WAS PREGNANT?" I screamed at him.

Rose started laughing at a mental pace, like she was watching a comedy show.

"Bring it on bitch." I whispered.

She stopped and looked at me. "Sorry what?"

"I said... BRING IT ON BITCH!" I launched forward, grabbing her hair and smashing her head against the ground, being pulled back by Jack. "LET GO OF ME YOU CUNT!" I screamed at him.

I looked over to Matt, The Doctor, River, Martha, Ianto, Owen and Tosh, who were silent throught the whole fiasco.

"We need to go home." I said, grabbing Lexi's hand and walking her into The TARDIS. I turned back in the door way, ushering her in. "Oh yeah. Rose?" I spat, taking out my gun and pointing it at her. "Go to hell, whore." I said, shooting at her leg, causing her to fall down. "Rhys." I smiled weakly at him. "Get out of here as quick as you can."

"YOUR NOT GONNA BLOW ME UP?" She screamed in agony.

"No." I said calmly, putting my gun away.

"Oh I had plenty of time to tune myself into you Rose." Lexi said, pushing past me and out into the warehouse again. "Let's just say, The Atraxi are entering the atmosphere." She turned and walked back in, everyone following.

"The food isnt the greatest at Stormcage." River smirked, closing the doors.

**WHACK!**

Suprisingly enough, it wasnt actually me who hit him.

"LEXI!" Matt shouted, pulling her back.

"Ok." Jack said, getting up of the floor. "I deserved that."

"YES YOU FUCKING DID." I shouted at him. He reached for my shoulders looking into my eyes.

"Gwen, please I am so so sorry." I looked at him. "No. No, no, no, no please. No! No, after everything we've been through, especially with her."

"I'm sorry Jack." I said, slipping out of his grasp.

"BRILLIANT!" Lexi said out of the blue. "Spend 14 fucking years looking for all of you lot, and what happens? This." She sighed and passed out in Matt's arms, as he lay her on the couch in The TARDIS.

"I still mean what I said." I said, spinning round to The Doctor and River. "Take her, when she wakes up pretend this never happened, like it was a dream to her. Dont come back, they're in too much danger." I said, glancing at Matt fretting over Lexi. "Take us home, act like this never happened. You've become my best friends and I will miss you so much, but dont come back. It will be safer for all of us.

They simply nodded at me, and we said our goodbyes, none of us saying anything to Jack. Matt moved the way as I crouched down to a passed out Lexi. "You know, I dreamt that something like this would happen. But now I know its not safe for you. They'll look after you, dont you worry. I will always love you, dont forget that. I hope you'll miss me, cause I'll miss you too. But dont come after us."

"Gwen, we've worked so hard to fight for her, we've just got her back, and your sending her away again?" Jack snapped at me as I looked up at him.

"Oh, and you want her to be around all this? We lost her Jack, several times thanks to that fucking whore of yours, she isnt safe here. She deserves a better life than this." I said, turning back to her, tucking her pendant back inside her top. I placed a kiss on her head, tears falling from my face. "I wanted you back so much, this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make. Goobye sweetie, I love you." I got up and walked out, the others following me.

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	5. Broken Hearts Leaving Scars

I sat down on the sofa at Martha and Ianto's after picking up the twins from Rhiannons, them sitting opposite me. I wasnt staying with him at the hub and certainly wasnt going back to the house.

"The bastard." I managed to murmur.

"You'll get through this, you've been through worse." Ianto said, giving me a warm smile.

"But Lexi..." Martha mumbled.

"I didnt make a mistake sending her off did I?"

"No of course not! You lost her a long time ago, she needs a life away from all that, and being with The Doctor, River and Matt is just what she needs."

"Do you think I'll ever see her again?"

"You told them never to come back..."

"Of course, its for the best." I said. "If I see her and cant tell her I know it will kill me."

I looked down at my phone, as it started buzzing for the hundreth time that hour. _Jack. _I decided to answer it, he wouldnt stop otherwise.

"What?" I snapped at him, sliding open the phone.

"Gwen please-"

"No Jack. I dont want to talk to you, stop calling me or I'll just turn my phone off all together. AND dont try and ring Martha and Ianto's home number, because our godsons are sleeping."

"I can explain."

"Go on then. Explain why you shagged the woman we risked our lives to protect our daughter against. Whilst I was pregnant, and she had already tried to kill me and steal our little girl. Explain that Harkness." I spat down the phone at him.

There was a long, echoing silence, Jack saying nothing.

"I'm so-"

"Yeah thought so." I said, slamming the phone down.

I looked over to Martha and Ianto, smiling sympathetically.

"Thanks for letting me stay." I smiled at them. "We'll go to work tomorrow and we'll carry on as normal, I'll get the keys to the house then I can go home tomorrow after work."

"What? You two will sort it out though?"

I rose a eyebrow at them.

...

"Morning?" Martha called out nervously as we walked into the hub, me carrying the boys.

"Hey." Tosh said, appearing from round the corner. "You ok Gwen?"

"Want the sarcastic answer?" I glared at her, Owen appearing behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "My husband cheated on me with the whore we all risked our lives to fight against for the last nearly 3 years, the woman who tried to kill me, kill my daughter, kidnapped me, and kidnapped my daughter and to top it all off, I thought she was wiped from existence and find she was right under my nose, now 14 and I had to send her off, and I'll never see her again. So Tosh, make a prediction from _that_." I said, putting the boys on the sofa. "Has anyone talked to the bastard yet?"

"He hasnt come out of his office." Owen murmered as we all sat down at our desks.

"Guess I better talk to him." I wasn't scared, I wasn't crying anymore, I was getting on with it. I had been through so much pain and suffering, I wasnt wasting my life moping around anymore. I got up and walked to the office door, tapping on it. I walked in and closed the door, his eyes locking with mine.

"Gwen." He jumped up, looking at me.

"Sir." I said, sitting down at his desk.

"Wha, why are you calling me sir? You've never called me that, even when you and me wern't together." He said in confusion, sitting back down opposite me.

"Well things have changed haven't they?" I snapped, glaring at him. "Why Jack? Don't give me all this soppy shit, give me the truth."

"Heat of the moment."

"Ok." I said, calmly flicking the hair out of my eyes. "Where are the house keys?"

"Here." Jack said, taking them out of his pocket. "Why?" He asked, passing them to me.

I said nothing and walked out of his office, heading back to my desk.

"GWEN?" He shouted over the balcony.

"Your stuff will be on the pavement at half 8, if your not there and it gets taken, not my fault!" I called back.

Lets just say the looks on everyone's faces suggested they wern't expecting that.

...

"Can I take my lunch now?" I half heartedly snapped at Jack, who was watching from the balcony.

"Gwen, your my wife, you can take the rest of the year off if you really want to."

"Pfft. Wife." I mumbled, loud enough for them to hear, but not too loud to make it awkward. "Take that as a yes then." I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, feeling Jack staring at me as I left.

I sat just by the water tower, being careful not to accidentally sit on the lift, and took out my phone. I waited a few moments, wondering if I should, but I had to.

_Calling... The TARDIS_

_01523 665894_

I let it ring a few times before someone answered.

"Helloooo?"

"Hey Matty." I whispered.

"Who is it?" I heard The Doctor and River say in the background.

"Gwen! Is everything ok?"

"Fine, fine. How is she?" I asked, my hopes raising.

"She thinks it was all a dream, but she's clever, noticing things, were not sure how long its gonna last." He sighed. "Oh, hang on, Dad wants to talk to you."

"Well what happened?"

"I've told him to collect his stuff by half 8."

"WHAT?" I heard River shout in the background.

"Cant you sort it out with him?" The Doctor asked.

"Its not like he shagged some random girl is it? It was Rose, after everything we done, everything we protected her from. And after all of it, I sent her away so she was safe. I want to trust him, I just dont know if I can."

"Is that Mum on the phone?" I heard Rivaella ask in the background.

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	6. Trust Is Like A Mirror

"Good plan, trying to make me think it was a dream, but I'm smarter than that Mum."

"I know you are sweetheart, your amazing."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Please let me come home."

"It's not safe baby girl."

"She's gone. I got The Atraxi to come myself. Please."

"Rivaella..."

"Mum. Look I know Dad was a bastard-"

"Hey, he done a terrible thing but he's still your Dad."

"-but I know you two, kinda, you'll sort it out. And we'll go back to the house yeah? With the big back garden, the hole at the back of the fence where The Doctor doesnt park properly. And my room, the white cot and the delicate toys everywhere. When we were heading to you guys for Auntie Tosh and Uncle Owen's wedding we stopped off at the house, incase you were there. I went and I looked around, my heart almost broke, I looked behind the cot and, hopefully its still there, was the sold sign, saying The Harkness House and then underneath Owen is the best. Please Mum, let me come home."

"I kicked him out sweetheart."

There was a pause before she said something I wasnt expecting.

"I often wish I could tell you that your gonna have a normal life and you'll always be safe, but then I'd be lying. But the one thing that will always be true is that you'll always be loved, no matter what. And I wont always be there, but your Daddy will, even if he dissapears one day, he will always be there somewhere, dont you worry. Even if he is billions of miles away, he will be alive, thinking of you. You have a amazing family though sweetheart, who will always care for you. You have your Auntie Tosh, who will teach you all the different parts of computers and your Auntie Martha and Uncle Owen, who are Doctors, they will show you how to save lives and show you different medicines, Uncle Ianto who makes the best coffee in the whole of South Wales, and he is a hero, he was a outcast of us at first, but then he saved us many times and we realised, he was such a important part of us, and we wouldnt be without him. You have your two cousins, your bestfriends, Maxwell and Tyler - they are a bit older than you, but they are always gonna understand you and love you like the rest of us. Then there's Rory and Amy. They understand what I had to go through, but you dont need to know about that. Your Uncle Doctor, he's saved us all so many times, and I trust him so much, he is a very old friend of most of us, and he will show your the whole of space and time. He is an alien, but dont worry! Maybe one day, you'll get to save the world with him like the rest of us did. And most importantly, your Auntie River. Her real name is Melody but she has always been called River since we all met her. Your named after her. Rivaella. River. Rivaella. She saved my life, when I was having you. She saved your life too really. She is powerful, confident and beautiful, she isnt scared of the monsters, and neither should you." She sighed. "That's what you said to me, all that time ago. That's the brilliance of being a child of the rift. You remember every little detail of your life, even if your a baby. Now tell me what I should do."

"Ok. Just to see your Dad, and Aunties and Uncles but if I tell you to go, you better." I smiled and hung up, before jumping up and onto the lift, lowering down into the hub. "HEY HARKNESS!" I shouted to him midway in the air, whilst he was sitting on the sofa, talking to the others. "You wanna see your daughter before you come and get your stuff?"

He got up and looked at me as I hopped off the lift. "You said yourself that it wasnt safe for her!"

"Well your still her Dad. Things have changed." I said, before walking over to my desk.

...

Ten minutes later The TARDIS appeared, Rivaella racing ahead out.

"Dad." She murmered, running into his arms, crying.

"Hey." He said, lifting up her chin to look at him. "Long time no see."

"Been places, y'know." She replied, laughing as she wiped her tears before looking at me. She walked up to me and gave me a massive hug, crying again.

"Ssh, it's ok, I got you."

I looked at Matt, The Doctor and River, as they leaned against The TARDIS. River smiled at my sympathetically as I started to cry.

"Hey come on." Rivaella said, smiling at me looking up, wiping my tears away. "Your meant to be the one stopping me crying." She pulled away, smiling at me before spinning round.

"Auntie Martha!" She grinned running up to her and giving her a hug.

"Hey you." She smiled, hugging her back.

"Are you gonna teach me about medicine? And you too Uncle Owen?" She said, giving Owen a hug too. Not knowing what to say they just grinned at her.

She walked over to Ianto, giving him a hug. "Can I ask something Uncle Yan?"

"Anything."

"Can I try one of your coffee's, Mum said they were the best in South Wales, even the world!"

"Of course." He chuckled.

She finally walked over to Tosh, giving her a hug. "I want to know everything there is to know about computers."

Tosh giggled at her, hugging her back. She hopped up onto the edge of Martha's desk, smiling at us all.

"So." She began. "What we doing today? I want to see the city properly, I had never really left the English countryside before, Sainsburys express was the most exciting thing there."

"Well, we can arrange something I suppose." I said, looking at the others.

"I've gotta drop the twins off at Rhi's and go clothes shopping for the boys. You could come with me?"

"Sure." She grinned.

"How come Rhi's having them? I can keep a eye on them." Ianto asked.

"Your going with Tosh to get Janet, remember she got caught by those farmers?"

"Oh shit yeah."

"And I'm going with The Doc, River and Matt to see Amy and Rory for a bit."

"So Me and Jack will be watching the rift?" I asked, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. "Sure its fine, have fun yeah?" I smiled at Rivaella.

...

There was only Me and Jack in the hub, as we sat back Jack on the sofa and Me at my desk. I still loved him, I wanted to sort it out, but it was gonna take time.

"We missed so many years of her life..." I managed to murmur.

"He could go back and get her as a baby. None of what happened with Rose trying to make her kill you would have happened. But she might have not have met Matt. Could we risk that?"

"No, we leave it, were not putting us all through any more shit. I have a 14 year old daughter who was born last year. Well that's a story to tell the grandkids."

"You reckon we'll have grandkids?"

"She has Matt, maybe. Being younger than 40 and having grandkids, sound like I should be living on a council estate full of chavs."

"What happened to us Gwen?"

"Rose happened, we were fine before, happily married, I was about to give birth." I said, looking at him. He got up and walked over to me, pulling me into a hug. I layed my head on his chest, listening to his hearbeat.

"Please forgive me."

"I don't know if I can Jack."

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	7. In Life Its Test First Lesson Later

"So, I'm in the car sitting being shot in the back of the head slowly with this pschyo bitch, whilst everyone else is stuck in the hub on the phone to this woman from the police who was at the murder scene, reading out every line from this bloody poetry book."

"Ooh nasty!" Rivaella said, as we sat down with a cup of tea. We had got back to the house after she had come back shopping with Martha. "Oh yeah, forgot to tell you." She said, putting down her tea on the side. "Got some new clothes for myself when I was out."

"Where did you get the money from?"

"Dad." She said, picking up a bag from beside her as I rolled my eyes. "Here." She took out a pair of blue skinny jeans, lifting them up. "And these." She took out three vest tops, one red, one yellow and one light green. "And finally, this." She took out a big, chunky white cardigan, slipping it on.

"Very nice, thank god you dont have your fathers choice in clothes."

"Well I thought I better have some clothes for when I'm here, I think the ones I have here might have outgrown me." She giggled. "What time will he be here?"

I looked down at my watch _8.30_.

"Well." I said, looking back up at her. "He should be here any minute."

As if he was listening the front door opened and in he came, shutting it behind him.

"Hey." He smiled, sitting down on the sofa next to Rivaella, kissing her on the head.

"Do you wanna cup of tea Dad?"

"Please." He smiled at her as we walked out of the room, leaving us alone. "So."

"You can collect your stuff now." I said, folding my legs up onto the sofa.

"Please Gwen, I am sorry for what I done, but we didnt fight all of that for nothing did we? We've come so far now, you cant just give up on us!"

"Oh you'll find I think I can Jack." I spat at him. "How would you feel if I had slept with Rhys?"

"I'd be devestated."

"Well for me, it's ten times worse, yeah he done all those things to Me but Rose kidnapped Me and her, and tried to kill us both, all those things. I cant believe you."

"But I really am sorry." He said, rushing over to me, kneeling down at me holding my hands. "For her, she spent 14 years of her life trying to find us, we can work through this, I know we can and you know why? Because we love eachother."

I leant forward and pulled him into a kiss, him kissing me back. I pulled out and looked into his eyes, biting my lip.

"Mum!" Rivaella called from the kitchen. "Matt's got The TARDIS in the back garden, said something about they wanted me to meet Janet?"

"Yeah it's fine go, be careful though."

"Will do, bye!" The door slammed behind her.

I pulled him into a stronger kiss, as he layed me onto the sofa, laying on top of me. Our tounges entered each others mouths, swirling around as I entwined my fingers in his hair. I rolled him over and carried on kissing him, getting stronger and stronger. He pulled of jeans, throwing them to the floor as I unbuttoned his shirt. I let go of him, sitting upwards and getting off, walking to the stairs. I turned back and looked at him, as he sat their in confusion.

"Come on then." I whispered, dragging him to the stairs. He picked my up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, as he thrust me against the wall, planting hungry kisses everywhere, he carried me upstairs, and we slammed the bedroom door.

...

I woke up, smiling, remembering that Rivaella sleeping across the hall. I streched and rolled over, trying to look at the clock to be met by Jack's face, fast asleep as my eyes grew wider. I looked down and I was naked.

HOLY SHIT.

I jumped out of bed and put on some pyjamas I could find and headed downstairs to find Rivaella sitting on the dining room table in the kitchen.

"Morning." I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek, before fixing myself a cup of tea.

"What time did Dad leave last night?" She asked, taking a sip of her drink.

"Erm, can't remember. I think it was about half 10." I lied. "Not long after you left I dont think."

"Well when I came in I couldnt find you. Your bedroom door was shut so I assumed you had gone to bed."

"Yeah, I was really tired."

"I'm gonna give him a ring actually." She said, reaching for her phone. FUUUUCK.

"No leave it sweetheart." I said before she could pick it up. "Were gonna leave to go to the hub in a bit anyway. Come on, go get ready."

"Oi, wake up Harkness!" I hissed, throwing a pillow at him, quickly shutting the door.

"What?" He murmered, sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

"You need to go, she wants to see you and she thinks your at the hub!" I grabbed the keys of the side as Jack started to head to the shower. "Keys are on the bed, you better have some good excuse for her!"

"Dont worry, I'll see you there." He mumbled back.

...

"Morning!" Rivaella called as we walked through the cog door.

"Emergency Lockdown 3, what do we do?" Tosh appeared out of nowhere, talking to Rivaella.

"Well in cases like that it would either mean someone has been very stupid and resurected Suzie again, but were in complete lockdown, no way in, no way out with no power. So, if we cant find a code or something as a way out like with Suzie, then we use the membrane on the computer to reroute the power to our nearest source, so we use the rift, if we cant use that then we use protocol 7, which reroutes our source to getting it from The TARDIS, but she has a lot of energy, so what we need wouldnt affect her in any way."

"Cure for the plague." Owen said, appearing from somewhere, standing next to Tosh, Martha and Ianto following.

"The infected will need 30 milligrams of Streptomycin and Chloramphenicol plus two of Tetracycline."

"And which pesific plague is that for?" Martha asked, grinning at me.

"Bubonic."

"Good girl."

We all walked back to our desks, Rivaella plonking herself on the sofa.

"Um. Someone might want to explain now?"

"Haha, sorry last night after meeting Janet I finally got round to learning all the stuff you said I would."

"Well what time did you get in then?" I asked, taking a sip of coffee Ianto had given me.

"Bout 11."

"Bit late. Did you walk back?"

"I wanted to see Dad before I left and nah I went back in The TARDIS."

"Well, he left about half 10, you must have just missed him." I said, picking up some paper work. "Where are The TARDIS crew anyway?"

"Upstairs." Rivaella mumbled, picking up a magazine.

"I'm gonna go say hello then." I said, getting up and walking out the door.

I walked into the tourist office, The TARDIS neatly parked at the edge, when Jack came walking through the door. I just stared at him awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"We need to talk." He said.

"No we dont." I snapped, turning round but he grabbed my wrist, trying to stop.

"Please." He whispered in my ear.

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	8. Nothing Like I Expected

The 3 weeks of Rivaella staying had flown past, and she was off again. She was coming back in a month's time to see us again, and I was gonna miss her so much. We hadn't really seen much of Matt, or The Doctor and River, I think they wanted us to have time with just her as we had missed out on so much. The weeks had been full of Me and Jack barely talking, apart from about Rivaella.

"Look after her." I whispered in River's ear, as I gave her a hug.

"Of course. Please just try and sort it out with Jack."

...

I found myself sitting in Jack's office, in his chair, looking at the photo frame full of the pictures of us all with Rivaella when she was first born.

"Hard to believe thats her." Jack said, appearing next to me out of nowhere.

"You scared me." I said, my eyes not leaving the photos. "Do you think that we'll ever feel like proper parents to her? To me, it's like when parents split up, and the kid goes and see's it's Dad at the weekend. Shouldn't it really be the other way round?" I said, spinning the chair round to face him. "Her with us most of the time and then her going with Matt every now and then?"

"We've only just got her back." He said, taking my hands. "We don't want to push her into anything she doesnt want to do, now do we? For us it's only been a year but to her it's been 14, her whole life." He sighed. "I'm very suprised how well were coping with it all really. We've jumped straight into being parents again without thinking."

"I know." I sighed, spinning back round to the picture. "Look at what my life has become." I got up and walked out heading for the toilets.

I entered a cubicle, sitting down on the floor and leaning against the door, crying. My life had become such shit. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was. I doubled over towards the toilet and started throwing up, still crying. I didnt want to do this anymore. I cleaned up and trailed into the hub, hiding my tear stained eyes from the others and sitting down at my desk, looking at my computer.

_Instant messaging - online._

**Doctor Martha Jones: A place to crash, we got you, no need to ask, we got you, just get on the phone, we got you, come and pick you up if we have to. What's weird about it, cause were right at the end, and mad about it, just figured it out in my head. I'm proud to say we got you. Go ahead and say goodbye, we'll be alright, go ahead and make me cry, we'll be alright. And when you need a place, to run to, for better for worse, we got you. xx**

**Gwen Cooper: :) xx**

**Doctor Owen Harper: When did you change your name back? xx**

**Gwen Cooper: Just now :S xx**

**Toshiko Sato: Come on seriously Gwen, you two need to sort this out. xx**

**Ianto Jones: She has a point Gwen. xx**

**Gwen Cooper: I'm getting used to being a mother again, and he slept with Rose for christ sake! You guys must know how hard it must be for me to forgive him. xx**

**Captain Jack Harkness: Online.**

**Captain Jack Harkness: Talking about me are we? xx**

**Gwen Cooper: Offline.**

I quickly shut it, and picked up some paperwork, like nothing had happened. I glanced at the others, all at their desks, looking back at me. I was feeling sick and tired, I had already thrown up. It had been 3 weeks since what happened with Jack and- oh.

3 weeks since Jack and 5 weeks since my last pe- FUCK.

I gulped and my eyes widened, Tosh, Owen, Martha and Ianto looking at me.

"Everything ok Gwen?"

"I GOTTA GO OUT!" I shouted up to Jack, grabbing my bag and running as quick as I could, giving a quick wave to the twins, sitting on the sofa.

I ran so quickly to the high street and into Boots, grabbing a pregnancy test and paying before heading back to the hub.

I hid the box in my sleeve and walked in quickly.

"You ok Gwen?" Ianto asked, trying to hand me a cup of coffee.

"Fine Yan." I said, pushing past to the toilets. "Really need the toilet that's all."

I ran inside the cubical, and went to the toilet, using the test. I put down the toilet lid and sat down shaking and crying. This couldnt be happening, not after thinking I was pregnant last time and I wasnt. And this was definitely the most perfect time to get pregnant again. But if I was, I knew what I had to do. After Rivaella died (well, thought.) I promised myself if I was ever pregnant again I'd quit Torchwood. And I will keep that promise, Rivaella's life was constantly in danger, I dont want this baby to be. And I wouldnt tell Jack. He had caused Me and Rivaella so much pain already, why should he have anything to do with this baby? I bit my lip, scared to look.

_**POSITIVE**_

Holy fuck a doodle doo.

Well. I had to do what I had to do. I wiped the tears away and stood up. I stuffed the test deep into my pocket and walked out into the hub, where Ianto and Jack were on the sofa with the boys, Martha at her desk and Tosh at her desk with Owen. I stood next to Martha's desk, in the middle of them all, ready to tell them.

"There's something I need to tell you all." They all looked at me concerned. "I'm quitting Torchwood."

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	9. Packing Up

I dont think I've heard "WHAT?" said by some many people at the same time before in perfect unison. Jack's reaction was unexpected though, he got up and just walked off. Said nothing, and walked through the cog door and out, most probably heading for the roof, like he always did when something bad happened.

"You cant leave!" Martha spluttered. "Why?"

"If this is because of Jack, then that's a stupid bloody reason to go!"

"Guys, I'm leaving and that's that."

"Please, we need you here." Martha said, grabbing me into a hug.

"I'm sorry Marth, I have to do this."

"But you'll get retconned."

"Do you honestly think Jack would do that to me?" I asked rhetorically, pulling back. "I better go talk to him actually." I sighed, heading out of the cog door. I headed up to the tourist office and into the backroom, and up the ladder onto the roof. I headed over and sat next to him, legs dangling over the edge. "I'm sorry."

"Is this because of me?"

"No."

"Well it obviously is." He snapped, sighing. "I love you with all my heart, and I regret everything I have ever done to hurt you or Rivaella, please let us try and sort this out. We slept together that time, please, cause I know you love me too. We didnt go through all that shit with Rose, and Rhys and Rivaella for nothing did we? We waited years to finally be together, and I know sleeping with Rose is possibly the worst thing I could ever do, and I'm sorry, I dont know what else I can do for you Gwen. Your making this impossible for me."

It was so hard not to tell him I was pregnant there and then, but I knew I couldnt. Yes I did love him, of course I did, but he still hurt me, and I couldnt have him hurting this baby. I leant forward and kissed him lightly. "I'm sorry Jack." I whispered, getting up onto my feet and heading downstairs again.

I sat down at my desk again, everyone trying to persuade me not to go.

"Please, I'll make you unlimited amounts of coffee, ring me up in the middle of the night and I'll bring you one, just stay." Ianto begged.

"I'll never insult you again." Owen pleaded.

"Pfft, like to see you try." I laughed at him. "I'm sorry I'm going." I said, turning all serious.

"I dont reckon your serious though." Owen said. "I reckon your doing it to put the frighteners on Jack, come on then, when are you leaving then?"

"Today." Ha. They were expecting that were they?

"Fuck this." Martha muttered, walking to the door, waiting for it to open. "I'M GOING TO TALK TO JACK."

"Wait, were coming too!" Tosh said, as her, Ianto and Owen got up and out of the door with Martha.

I grabbed a box from behind Ianto's coffee machine and started packing all my stuff up from my desk. I picked up a snow globe I had, Jack had given it to me one day, inside was a picture of us, on our wedding day. My heart broke just a little, looking at it. I walked up to Jack's office and put it on his desk before walking back to packing. I put in stapler's and hole punches in the box, I was gonna miss throwing them at Owen's head when he was being a twat. I wasnt making a mistake was I? No, of course not. I looked down at my still flat stoumach and smiled, placing a hand on it.

"Nothing will happen to you, I promise." I whispered.

I was gonna be a proper Mum this time. I had screwed Rivaella's life up but I wasnt gonna do it for this baby. Shit. I hadnt really thought through about Rivaella, if this baby was like her when I was expecting her, then she'd realise. Within a month of being pregnant with Rivaella, I was starting to show, if this baby was anything like her, she'd notice, and if she knew then there's no way in hell she would keep it from Jack, no matter how much I pleaded. What was I gonna do? Never see my daughter again or let Jack and everyone know? I still had time before I had to make any drastic decisions anyway. I finished packing my stuff and stuck the box by the door for when I left and sat back down at my desk, looking at the empty hub, not really knowing what to do. I started to silently cry a little bit, my home, my life for the last, nearly 5 years I think? And I was leaving it, my bestfriends, my husband, the life and people which led me to having Rivaella. The cog door opened as they all came back through with Jack, as I quickly wiped away the tears from my eyes. Jack came and sat next to me as the others walked out, muttering something about Janet.

"I love you so much." He whispered, cupping my face.

"I love you too."

"Then why cant we sort this out? Stay, we can try again, I'll sleep on the sofa here or at the house, but please just let us try again. I know I was a cunt for what I did, but please. I love you."

"I'm protecting my family Jack." I said, tears pouring down my face.

"My family too."

"Things have changed Jack." I sighed and got up, my time had come, my time to go. "Goodbye." I said, kissing him before picking up my bag and walking towards the door, picking up my box.

"No, please Gwen dont." He said as I walked through to the lift. "NO GWEN PLEASE DONT!"

I walked through the tourist office and walked round the back of the desk, taking my car keys from the bowl. I took out my Torchwood pass and my gun and left them on the shelf round the back before walking out to the car and opened the passenger car door, putting the box in.

"Please dont." I turned and looked at him, standing behind me. "I'll come round everyday, outside the house, I'll do anything and everything. Please dont leave me. I can't live without you."

"Sweetie, your immortal." I said, cupping his face with one of my hands. "You'll find someone one day, I thought it was me but you wouldn't have slept with Rose if I was. I love you, this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do."

"You mean everything to me. Please."

"Goodbye Jack." I got into the car and drove off.

...

I slammed the door behind me, put the box down on the stairs and layed on the sofa in tears. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I looked over at my phone next to me as it started ringing. _Rivaella._

"Hey sweetie." I said, wiping my tears as I picked up the phone.

"Mum, can you ask Dad if him and The Doctor wiped Margaret the Slitheen's memory when she was turned back into a egg, The Doctor cant remember."

"Slitheen?" I mumbled to myself. "I'm not at the hub sweetheart."

"Oh. Are you on a break?"

"No. I'm at home."

"Early for you, you usually stay a lot longer than that."

"Been a bit of a day."

"Um. I was wondering..." She said, giving a short pause. "Do you think I could come back a bit earlier?"

"Of course you can! When were you thinking?"

"Maybe tonight?"

"Yeah sure! I thought you'd want to be off having adventures and stuff, but sure."

"I'm missing you guys that's all, and also The Doctor wants to talk to Dad and the others."

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

"Oh actually maybe not-"

"Are you hiding something?"

"No, of course not sweetie, I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah, seeya soon."

OH HOLY SHIT SHIT SHIT.

...

After an hour and a half, the thing I was dreading most happened.

"YOU QUIT TORCHWOOD?"

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	10. Telling The Truth

_Today was the day she took me back._

1 month had passed since I had quit Torchwood and everyday Rivaella tried to drag me out of the house to the hub. She still didnt know I was pregnant, this baby was hiding well. But I knew there had to be a day when I had to face them. They had all come round to the house to try and get me back, but Jack was the only one I wouldn't let inside the house.

"For the millionth time Riv, I am not going to the hub."

"You are Mum. You can not give up on Torchwood, or Dad for that matter, there has to be more to it! I know how much you love Dad, there has to be another reason to why you've left." She sighed, sitting down opposite me at the table. "You know your still on the staff list?"

"Of course I do." I replied. "I would have been retconned by now, your father just refuses to do it. Usually they would execute you for that, but this is your Dad were talking about. Anyway, it's not like I'm using my Torchwood clearances before they're taken away am I?"

"HEY!" River called as she came through the door, sitting down with us. "You coming to the hub today?"

"River Song, archaeologist, The Doctor's wife, one of the smartest people I know, take a wild guess."

"Come on." She said dragging my arm and out of the house, putting me in the car.

"YOU CAN DRIVE ME THERE BUT GOOD LUCK GETTING ME IN!" I grumbled at them, as they got in the front.

...

They practically dragged me through the cog door and into the conference room, where Jack was. He jumped up in shock to see me and they pushed me in, I dont think he knew about this. They locked the door behind us and they all sat outside. River, The Doctor, Matt, Rivaella, Tosh, Owen, Ianto and Martha with the twins. We bashed against the door, telling them to let us out, we were not happy.

"Torchwood staff rights, you cant do this!" I shouted, as Jack just sat down at the confrence table.

"Timelord rights, we can do what we like!"

"Well, Jack's a fixed point in time and space, you dont want to put him in distress!"

"We dont do fixed points." The Doctor and River said in unison. "Jack's immortal, it wont harm him. Anyway, my death was a fixed point, River didnt exactly do that right did she?" The Doctor finished.

"Huh?" The rest of us said.

"Story for another day." River said.

I sat down opposite Jack, just looking at him. I placed my hands on the small bump, the bump nobody had noticed yet, underneath the table so he couldnt see and just stared.

"I've missed you."

"Missed you too." I murmered, smiling at him. "How've you been?"

"Shit. Why did you leave Gwen?"

"To protect."

"What is this? What are you protecting?" He snapped, pacing up and down the room.

"It doesn't matter." I sighed. "Fuck this, I'm using protocol 45!" I said loudly looking at the others. Tosh, Owen, Martha and Ianto jumped up.

"SHIT! I forgot about that!" Tosh panicked.

I reached underneath the table and took out a handgun that was hidden.

"Protocol 45. In a emergency, if anyone is stuck in the conference room, there is a handgun underneath the table, to blow off the lock." I said, smiling sweetly and shooting at the lock. It sent a few little sparks off, barely going anywhere, and I pushed open the door, Jack behind me and walked out, and sat down at my 'old' desk, pulling the cardigan I was wearing over my bump. "Yaaaan?"

"Ahuh?"

"I know I dont work here anymore-"

"You do." Ianto interupted.

"-do you fancy making me a coffee?" I sighed, smiling at him.

"Of course." He smiled back and walked over to the coffee machine.

I span round on my chair, not really sure why I was still there, and went on my computer, still logged on and everything.

"Why haven't I been logged out?"

"Cause you still work here Gwen." Jack said, appearing behind me and squeezing my shoulder before sitting down on the sofa with The Doctor, River and the twins.

"FOR THE LAST TIME!" I called out. "I dont work here, I quit 1 month ago, in fact, why did you bring me Rivaella?"

"Cause you and Daddy needed to talk." She said, sitting on the stairs with Matt, River just a bit lower down.

"No we didnt." Fuck this, why did everyone think that? Everyone rolled their eyes at me, even Ianto who had stopped making coffee just to do it. "Oh fuck this, I dont even need to be here." I said, looking back at my computer.

"Then why are you here?" Tosh asked.

"Because they took my house keys." I said, crossing my arms and frowning like a cross child. "I'm not standing out in the cold!"

"And were not giving them back!" Rivaella called over.

"Anyway, I have things to do first." I said, heading to the final logout screen before being pulled back by my chair by Jack. "HEY!"

"Sorry sweetie." He said, stretching his arms under my arms and closing the screen from my computer.

"Excuse me, you lost the right to call me sweetie when you shagged that whore of yours." I said sickly.

"And your still gonna go on about that are you?"

"Hm, yes I think I am. I reckon I should be allowed to be pretty pissed off about it."

"Well, you really should try and move on."

"Sorry Jack, this isnt the 51st bloody century where everyone has 7 affairs and 4 bloody families, and thats just the women!"

"I slept with her, once?"

"Oh well thank you for being so considerate and thinking of your pregnant wife for once, now I completely understand, I was being selfish, move back in and we'll all go back to normal shall we?"

"REALLY?" The Doctor asked, grinning.

"You'd NEVER think time lords wern't human would you?" I snapped, looking back at Jack, standing up.

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO GWEN? Nothing is ever good enough for you, because you wont tell me what's wrong!"

"And I wont tell you because your just gonna hurt us!"

"Why would I hurt my family eh?"

"BECAUSE YOU DONE IT SO MANY TIMES."

"DOESNT MEAN I WOULD DO IT NOW!"

"I NEED YOU TO NOT HURT US, BUT I KNOW YOU CANT, I NEED YOUR HELP!"

"I WILL HELP, WHAT IS IT?"

"YOUR JUST GONNA HURT US JACK!"

"OH IF YOUR GONNA FUCKING BE LIKE THIS THEN-"

"I'M PREGNANT!"

...

...

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	11. Brinks Of Happiness, Bombs Of Pain

I really wasnt planning on telling him. It wasnt some big dramatic stunt to get attention. I honestly wanted to just leave Torchwood and have the baby, completely seperate from all of that. It just kinda slipped out. The tension filled the room so quickly, everyone just staring at me. My heart broke at Jack's eyes, filled with so much pain. I slumped back down in my chair, not quite knowing what to say.

"Like properly this time?" He managed to baffle. I nodded biting my lip. He looked behind me, saying nothing. "Guys, Rivaella's passed out again." He said, nodding to Matt. The others grabbed Rivaella and left us to talk. "How long?"

"About a month."

"And that's why you wanted to leave?"

"Yeah."

"But when did you? Who did you? I thought you still loved me."

"Your joking right? You'd think I'd do that? Of course it's yours."

"WHAT?" He said in shock, flattening down his hair. "But when did we?"

"The night you came to-"

"Oh then!"

He bent down and took my hands, not knowing what to say.

"See this is why I didnt want to tell you." I said, interupting the silence.

"So you was just gonna have a baby without telling me?"

"Well, kinda, yeah."

"Your, your pregnant!"

"I know."

"I-I'm sorry I need time to think about this." He said, getting up and walking into his office.

I knew he couldnt deal with it, I shouldnt have told him. I got up, wiping the tears from my eyes and headed up to the lift, watching as I rose up and up and the hub became smaller and smaller. I looked out across the bay, knowing what I had with Jack was pretty much over. We were on the brink of death, and not even the doctors could help us. Or a computer genius, or a coffee maker, or a archaeologist or even the children. I glanced down at my tiny bump, putting a hand on it.

"Your Daddy has screwed mine and your sisters lives up way too much, but I will always love him with all my heart. It's just a shame he doesnt want us. But that's ok, cause I will always love you no matter what. Time to go yeah? We've got things to do for your sister."

...

I walked through the door, shutting it behind with my arse and carrying the many carrier bags I had with me upstairs. I walked into the one of the spare rooms Rivaella was staying in and plonked down the bags in the corner. I changed into some tracksuit bottoms and a old t-shirt, and took out some photo frames I had bought as well as some photo's I had developed. I started putting the inside the frames, placing them in parts of the room. There was ones of the guys with her as a baby, and one of her and Matt at Tosh and Owen's wedding. I got up of the floor and sat on her bed, picking up my mobile as it started ringing. _Rivaella._

"Hey sweetie."

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

"At home, calm down!"

"He's been going frantic looking for you!"

"Pfft, yeah." I laughed. "He hasn't rung me once or come to the house, so he's really bothered isnt he."

"Mum, you have to be careful, your pregnant!"

"About that, are you ok about it?"

"Of course I am!"

"Its just last time..."

"That's because I thought you were giving up on me that's all!"

"So, your ok with it?"

"OF COURSE! Look, I'll be home soon ok? I'm with Auntie Martha and Uncle Yan, and we've got the boys with us, is that ok?"

"Fine, fine, just not in the mood to talk to your Dad that's all."

...

Rivaella feeding the boys in the kitchen, as I sat talking to Ianto and Martha in the living room.

"Jack's a mess." Martha sighed. "Who's is it then?"

"Jack's."

"WHAT?"

"SSH!" I said, glancing at the shut kitchen door. "You guys didnt know about it? I'm suprised he didnt tell you lot after it happened."

"Obviously not!" Ianto said. "When?"

"The night he came to get his stuff, Rivaella went to the hub to see Janet and you taught her all that stuff..."

"He came in late that morning-"

"He was here. But Rivaella didnt know." I interupted.

"If you two dont get back together now, I swear to god-"

"He doesnt want this baby. I thought he didnt want her but he did, but not this one. He can't get his head around it properly. That's why I quit, I wanted to have this baby away from Torchwood, because he had hurt us way too much, and he is not gonna harm this one. I dont want him having anything to do with this one!"

"Martha!" I heard Tosh through the comms.

"Yeah." She said, her and Ianto both clicking their comms.

There was a muffled talk from the comms, nothing I could make out though.

"SHIT!" They both jumped to their feet, running into the kitchen as I followed them. I span around looking, just the boys sitting on the table Rivaella nowhere to be seen. Martha turned round and looked at me, Ianto grabbing the boys. She reached into her pocket and took out my handgun and Torchwood pass. "We need you."

...

I was all dressed up as Bad Ass Gwen again. Black leather jacket, red top, black leather trousers and my black boots. Someone had taken my girl again, and I was not happy. So many times she had been taken, I was getting fucking fed up of it. We walked through the hub, and I had to be strong, I couldnt let this get to me, it would break me. The TARDIS crew had taken the boys to Leadworth, for Amy and Rory to look after before heading out before us to find her. We all stood behind Tosh, intriuged in the scans she was running.

"What do we know?" I asked, as Jack pulled me into a hug.

"Nothing." Tosh sighed. "We have no idea what so ever."

"They took our baby Jack." I murmered into his chest.

"Hey, come on. We'll get her back, it's not like it hasn't happened before." I looked up at him as he smiled weakly. "Team TARDIS and Team Torchwood." He placed his hand on my stoumach. "...together."

I put my comm back in, my pass back in my pocket and my gun in my waist band. I was back baby.

**Please Review!**


	12. Final Deaths

_"See that's what Torchwood does to you..." I spat. "They all die so young they said, were all in constant pain. Our lives have been ruined because of YOU! IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!"_

**Earlier...**

"Tell me something Jack." I murmered. We were all in the hub, tired and restless. Tosh, bless her, had been at her computer for hours. The Doctor hadn't found anything yet, and we were hopeless. "Is it all really worth it?" I spat.

"What?"

"Torchwood. We work so hard to protect the human race against the slightest alien threat, and we cant even protect our own bloody daughter against it."

"It might not have anything to do with us?"

"Pfft. Right, course not, with The Doctor and River too we've pissed off practically everyone anyway. This is why I wanted this baby away from all of this."

"I will keep you both safe as I can Gwen, I promised you that when I married you." He half snapped.

"What about Rivaella? We've never been able to protect her, not properly." I said. "And I swear to god, if I have to deal with another one of Rose's fucking pop up jokes, I will murder her myself. NO JOKES." I snapped.

"What and lose Rivaella and Bump?"

"If it protects them and they can have the rest of a happy and safe life, then so be it."

"Gwen, you are not a murderer." Martha sighed.

"Oh yeah? Just you watch me."

"Come here." He said, sitting next to me on the sofa, resting my head onto his chest. "This will be sorted I promise. I will protect them as best as I can." He sighed, looking up at the others. "Any luck yet Tosh?"

"No. Sorry." She sighed.

The TARDIS materialized with a terrible thud, The Doctor and River rushing out, River in floods of tears.

"THEY TOOK MATTY!" She bawled, The Doctor, filled with pain and anger.

"Jack, I suggest we-" Martha began.

"Yes Martha, think it's gone too far not to use that. OK GUYS! TORCHWOOD ULTIMATE EMERGENCY PROTOCOL 1. Grab EVERYTHING."

We all raced round the hub, grabbing every piece of tech, alien and human, weapon, from guns to random metal pieces, and anything else we could use, Ianto emptying practically the whole of the archives and packing it into The TARDIS, each of us (including The Doctor, which was a suprise.) took 2 handguns each, 1 smoke and 1 flash grenade each, the men each a bigger gun too, including our PDA's, one mini computer each and Tosh armed to the teeth with the rest of the tech.

"They want us to find them." The Doctor began, his knuckles going white with anger as we all watched round the scanner. "So we have to be ready."

"So are we assuming this is Rose?" Owen asked.

"Might as well fucking be at this rate..." Ianto muttered.

"Well who else would it be?"

"We've pissed off quite a few people though." Tosh murmered.

"But they haven't given us any hassle over the last 3 or something years have they?" I said. "Because they know what's going on with Rose, she escaped all those times, she must have been bragging to them all what was happening."

"You think she would?"

"You think she wouldn't?" I sighed. "So where are they then? And I swear to god if it's bloody Canary Wharf-"

"No a abandoned warehouse, just can't work out where, there's coordinates but no pesific place."

"Torchwood 4?"

"Course it is." We all muttered.

...

We all stepped out the doors, giving up on the whole 'serious' attempt, walking out like we couldn't give a damn, bring it on type thing.

"Come on then Rose, what this time?" I sighed, I had eventually lost my whole attitude of being scared or worried might be coming, this had happened way too many times.

"Scanning..." Tosh said, fiddling withher PDA. "There's 2 life forms here, but I can't tell who they are or if they're alive or not, but on of them's energy is of the scale!"

"Matt." River stuttured, looking at The Doctor. "He might be regenerating?"

"We gotta keep moving." the Doctor said, as we ran round the warehouse, shouting their names.

We eventually ran round a corner, Matt and Rivaella laying limplesly on the floor.

"No." I whispered. The Doctor ran forward checking Matt's pulse, about to check Rivaella's when Matt stood up, starting to glow.

"Good luck sweetie." River said, pulling us all back.

He threw his head back and screamed, golden energy flying everywhere. He threw his head back forward, the light dissapearing and looking fine again, exactly the same.

"Oh of course, half time lord parent as well, you regenerate and have the same body!" The Doctor exclaimed, him and River walking past Matt as if nothing had happened, them all rushing to Rivaella, the rest of us following.

"Sweetie, please wake up." I cried, stroking her hair, Jack holding onto her hand.

"Gwen, there's no pulse." Owen murmered.

"NO!" I screamed, getting up and pacing around. "I HAVE LOST HER WAY TO MANY TIMES."

"There's nothing we can do Gwen!" Jack said.

"YOU DIDN'T HELP!" I shouted at him. "See that's what Torchwood does to you..." I spat. "They all die so young they said, were all in constant pain. Our lives have been ruined because of YOU! IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" I screamed, throwing myself into his chest, trying to hit him and breaking down in tears.

"Ssh, come on."

"Oh I think maybe this is our finest battle this time."

"YOU KNOW WHAT?" I screamed, spinning round to see Rose, suprise suprise. "It's getting a bit boring now, your entrances- AAH!" I screamed out in pain, falling to the floor.

Jack rushed to my side, laying me on his lap, Owen running over to help, while everyone else threw their guns up at her. I didn't know what had happened, I was in serious pain and that's all I knew. I looked down to my stoumach, my hands drenched in blood, a small hole in my tummy. THE BITCH SHOT ME.

"Jack." My eyes glazed over looking up at him. "The baby." I cried. "No, I'm not losing another, that's not fair."

"Ssh." He soothed, stroking my hair. It killed me to think within a matter of seconds, he could loose everything. Owen took out the bullet with a med kit he had brought, scanning my stoumach. He froze and glared at Jack. "No." He murmered.

"Gwen." Owen said, biting his lip. "I'm sorry sweetheart, there's no hearbeat."

I pushed them out the way, slowly getting up, holding the side of my stoumach where blood was still slowly spilling. I grabbed my gun from my back pocket, pushing through the others, who didn't realise I had got up, pointing my gun at Rose.

"You killed my family." I sobbed. "You have done way too much to my life."

"Gwen don't!" Martha called out.

"I have had to suffer through all this, when you wern't even after me. You were after The Doctor, and I had to suffer all of this. And you know what, I couldn't care less if I'm a good person, because today Rose Tyler..." I spat her name. "I will be killing you."

"Gwen please!"

"Today, I have lost 2 children, because of you." I hissed. "I will never get my babies back."

"Don't you see, that's how I felt!"

"But I didn't cause you to lose your baby. So why me hey? WHY DID I HAVE TO LOSE THEM?"

"I'm sorry."

"AAAAAAAAAH!" I screamed out, clutching my stoumach and dropping the gun.

"THE BABY!" Owen called out. "I'M GETTING A HEARTBEAT!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" We span round, Rivaella throwing herself forward, screaming out of breath just like Jack did when he was... oh.

"You bastard." I said, breathlessly. "You gave our kids your bloody immortality gene." I grinned, making my way over to Rivaella, collapsing out of breath against her. She stroked my head, getting over coming back better then the baby was, the hole slowly closing up.

"It's ok Mum." She soothed, getting up, letting Jack hold onto me. "I've already tuned into the Atraxi, they're on their way." She glanced at Rose, sitting on the floor in defeat. "And I think she knows her times up."

I looked up at Jack, smiling at me. "Your gonna get to spend the rest of eternity with our babies, but I won't." I sighed.

"They're not that type of immortal though." The Doctor piped up, everyone else sitting on the floor around us. "They're gonna live a average human life, but will survive non natural deaths, like being shot, posioned, stabbed etc. but they're still prone to diseases and old age death."

...

The hub was quiet. We had finally come to the end of fighting with Rose. We sat at our desks, unsure of what to do next. The Doctor and River had left with Matt, saying they would return soon. We sat at our desks, Rivaella keeping the twins happy. We had come to the end or a era, and here I was again, pregnant. Me and Jack were back together and ok, Rivaella with us permanently, the boys growing up happily, Tosh and Owen married and Ianto and Martha as strong as ever.

Everything had changed over the last 3 years, all because of Jack. I hate him for it, and love him for it too. Our daughter, gorgeous and so like both of us, 14 years old, only born last year. Another one on the way, who will not go through all the pain Rivaella went through, no matter what. Rivaella doesn't want her little brother or sister having that, and no they shouldn't.

"Rift activity!" Tosh chuckled. Thank god, something normal. Well, what we define as normal.

**It's all over! fourth installment done! I may finish it here, I have done 4 stories, it may seem like its dragging on a bit. Times before I've said I'm taking a break, but this time I am, to focus on 'Where Do You Wanna Start?' and when that's finished, or near the end, I may start another sequel, but without Rose maybe? Does get a bit boring with her turning up all the time I think? Maybe not I'm not sure:S**

**But thank you once again to Lurgpa, and all my other supporters! I have loved writing this, but if I don't take a break from this, I'll get writers block and forget to update, and I don't want to do that to you all after everything you have supported me through! I love you all guys! SEEYAAAA SOOOON!**


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